You’re so excited that your best friend is getting married! The party will be great; seeing everyone together will be a lot of fun. Then you get the call. They want you to give a toast. Your heart starts beating so fast that you can hear it thumping in your chest. You’re thinking, “Why me?” But, like the good friend you are, you say, “Yes.”
My advice is to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you must be special to the bride or groom, or you wouldn’t have been asked. And you’re not talking to employees about impending layoffs; you’re speaking to a friendly crowd. Everyone wants to hear your story.
We‘ve all been subject to that long speech that goes on forever! You don’t want to be that speaker. You want to be the one who leaves the audience with a lasting impression of how you feel about the person.
“Be sincere, be brief, be seated.” This quote from Franklin D. Roosevelt is great advice!
Be sincere
Focus not on what you’re going to say, but on why you’re giving the speech and how you feel about it.
Be brief
You are not the star attraction. Your speech is the icing on the wedding cake. There will be others giving a speech, so 5 minutes is ample. Don’t go through the first time you met your friend in kindergarten, then grade 1, etc. Find a few stories and talk about them.
On the other hand, my husband and I were at our friend’s wedding when the emcee announced that someone would now give the toast to the bride. They get on stage, raise their glass, and say, “To the bride”. That was it. That’s too short and not much effort.
Here are the components of an engaging speech:
-Introduce yourself: Who are you? What’s your relationship, and how do you feel about them? (Keeping in mind not to repeat what the emcee said in introducing you)
-The hook: This engages the audience and gets their attention. It can be a picture, a brief story, a quote, a joke, or a few lines from a famous poem.
-An anecdote: Pick a couple of stories, no more than 2-3, that exemplify who this person is.
-Ending: Wish the couple well.
Dos and Don’ts
Do:
-Practice your speech out loud. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll feel. Winging it rarely works. Plus, it’s probably videotaped, and you want to look your best.
-Go to the venue early: Do you need a microphone? Ask what kind they have? What’s their setup? The more you know, the more you’ll be able to adapt.
-Engage the crowd: It’s fine to read from the page, but make sure you look at the audience as much as possible. Print your speech out in a 16-18 font. This way, you’re not squinting to read, and you won’t lose your place when you look down at the page.
Don’t:
-Notice how I’m talking about pages? I hate when people give a speech from their phones!!!! For me, the font is too small. Even with a sheet of paper, they can gesture freely, but not when they are holding the phone. They are usually glued to it and make little contact with the audience. Plus, I am always worried that the phone will drop!
-Slide show: A good option, but make it short. We don’t need to see everyone who is at the wedding in the slide.
-Artificial Intelligence (AI): I’ve worked with many clients who use this, which helps to get the ball rolling. But you need to make that speech sound like you. It’s important to ensure that the technology enhances your message without overshadowing your personal touch. For example, you can use AI to generate ideas or structure your speech, but make sure to personalize it so that it reflects your unique voice and perspective.
If you’ve been brief and sincere, you’ll feel terrific about sitting down and enjoying the rest of the wedding.
